There are more parties to this story that Consumers Voice NZ has now named below, that the “Close Up” story was unable to name. A comprehensive report on this story is also now available here .
I have been advised today that a documentary team will be producing a story on this case, and a major publishing company has also expressed interest in this story.
The “Close Up” programme story Wednesday 30/05/12:
(Part 2: Allan Bell & Sara Chetwin follows on from Part 1)
“Close Up” Facebook comments on story below:
The Newstalk ZB “Leighton Smith” Show & “Danny Watson” Show Thursday 31/5/12:
Follow-up talkback radio show that discussed the case. The topic ran for 6 hours on Newstalk ZB, and is discussed again on the Leighton Smith show on 1/6/12.
Recorded MP3 files of the show are now available, and may be requested at email@example.com
The “Close Up” and “Newstalk ZB” back-story:
THE NAMED PARTIES TO THIS STORY:
St John Ambulance Officers Karl Berghan & Sam Brens:
Karl Berghan and Sam Brens have been named as the St John Ambulance Officers who committed the sexual crimes against the daughter “Jade” in an “Investigate Magazine” article in 2005, and again in a 2012 Press Release.
But St John Ambulance saw fit to nominate both Karl Berghan & Sam Brens for the Order of St John, despite St John Ambulance knowing about the historical allegations and media stories about them:
The Sunday Star Times attempted to tell this story in 2012, but didn’t name the parties.
Daphanie Goldsmith & Rosa Counselling Trust:
The CYF-approved Rosa Counselling Trust Counsellor who deemed adult men having underage sex with minors was “love and romance”.
Madeleine & David Hayden:
With husband and former Westlake Boys High School science teacher David Hayden, Madeleine & David Hayden were church elders of the Albany Christian Centre (now Inspire Church Albany) who were implicit in alienating the daughter “Jade” from her family. Madeliene Hayden was a former Administrator at Kristen School in Auckland. An application was made to the Family Court at the time by the daughter to imprison the parents for the parents allegedly breaking an interim gagging order.
Kristen School Principal Peter Clague:
The Family Court application for parental imprisonment was supported by David Hayden, and Madeleine Hayden’s employer at the time, the Kristin School Executive Principal Peter Clague. Clague once stated on the Kristen School website “I want to encourage you to lift the veil of your daily domestic struggles and your work pressures and see that being a parent is the greatest and most miraculous and thing that you will ever do.” Obviously, supporting the imprisonment of innocent parents is somehow part of Clague’s preferred process to acheive this lofty endeavor.
Don & Julia Mcdonnell: Senior Pastors of Albany Christian Centre (now Inspire Church Albany) church who were implicit in alienating the daughter “Jade” from her family.
Don McDonnell is now the Assistant Superintendant for the New Zealand Assemblies of God.
Paul Crawford: Former Church Elder & Associate Pastor of Albany Christian Centre (now Inspire Church Albany) who were implicit in alienating the daughter “Jade” from her family. Crawford now works as a Counsellor in Private Practice.
Lynette Crawford: former Church Elder and Associate Pastor of Albany Christian Centre (now Inspire Church Albany) who were implicit in alienating the daughter “Jade” from her family. Crawford now works as a Counsellor in Private Practice.
Westlake Girls High School, former Principal Alison Gernhoefer, current Principal Roz Mexted, and current Westlake Girls High School School Counsellor Alison Horspool:
Left: Alison Gernhoefer – Former WGHS Principal
Right: Roz Mexted – current WGHS Principal
Westlake Girls High School apparently believed that it is entirely appropriate to support the act of sex crimes against minors, and worked vigorously to ostracise the parents from their daughter via the toxic enabling of former Principal Alison Gernhoefer. The family innocently dropped their child off at Westlake Girls High school one morning, and school counsellor Alison Horspool took the girl to YouthLaw so that she could divorce her family and live independently of family influence. The family have hardly seen their daughter since. Roz Mexted recently dismissed the families complaints, and threatened Police action against them, the same week that Minister of Education Hekia Parata encouraged parents to take their concerns to school leadership.
Ministry of Education Psychologist who approved the Independent Youth Benefit for “Jade” further enabling parental alienation to occur.
Former Youthlaw Solicitor and now Principal Legal Advisor to the Childrens Commissioner who with Barrister Barry Maclean attempted to raise a case to imprison the parents.
The Current Children’s Commissioner is Dr Russell Wills (below):
- Mr Wills may now have some questions for his Principal Advisor (Legal) regarding the potential veracity of “advice” being given to the Office of the Children’s Commissioner, as Hancock and Maclean failed at every juncture in this case to secure a conviction against the parents.
- Ruth Dyson:
- Former Labour Cabinet Minister and current Member of Parliament Ruth Dyson personally insisted that the then 15-year old daughter had to read a CYF internal report before her parents who submitted the complaints, were permitted to read the report. At no time did Ruth Dyson ever call into question the actions of CYF, instead running protective interference for the Department.
- Sheena Hudson & the New Zealand Association of Counsellors (NZAC):
- Former NZAC Ethics Committee Chairperson Sheena Hudson decided that the NZAC registered counsellor in this case had acted ethically and decided not to hold a hearing to investigate the families 32-page document detailing 23 specific complaints against the CYF counsellors. NZAC informed the family of this decision in a two-line letter with no reasons provided. When the family asked the President of the NZAC Antony McFellin for their reasons for their decision, McFellin simply asked the family not to communicate with him ever again www.nzac.org.nz
- Mel Smith:
- Former Ombudsman who whitewashed the parents complaint about the utterly deficient investigation by the New Zealand Association of Counsellors
into the conduct of the CYF appointed Counsellor, Daphanie Goldsmith of Rosa Counselling Trust. Smith deemed that anything that CYF Social Workers did with any family is appropriate, by virtue of their position as Statutory Social Workers; and ignored the fact that sex crimes had been committed against a minor. Mel Smith has recently been selected to investigate another serious breach of conduct, this time in the Education system.
- Dr Cindy Kiro:
- Former Children’s Commissioner, who despite having a Statutory responsibility to oversee the operating and professional conduct of CYF, ignored the formal complaint submitted by the parents to the Office of the Children’s Commissioner. Kiro is now employed as an Associate Professor at the University of Massey.
- Eve Fone:
- CYF Internal Complaint Investigator who whitewashed a formal complaint from the parents that detailed 65 specific instances of breach of conduct by CYF. Fone is now the Site Manager for the CYF “Safe Children & Young People in Strong Families and responsive Communities”.
- Peter Topzand:
- Former CYF Regional Manager who originally tried to disuade the parents from filing a complaint against CYF “because of all the paperwork involved”. On receiving a formal complaint form the parents that detailed 24 specific complaints, Topzand found that CYF had operated within “best practice” standards, and then unilaterally accused the parents of child abuse, an allegation that CYF later had to withdraw from. Topzand is now working as a Programme Manager on the National Management Team at Youth Horizons Trust.
Yes, you have read the above correctly:
The parties that were involved in this story either committed a crime, or specifically and collaboratively enabled the crime to go unpunished via championing the illegitimate alienation of the daughter from the family within their various roles.
What others have said about the families’ ordeal:
Paul Adams, former Member of the NZ Parliament: “My heart goes out to you. This is an absolutely absurd situation and I will pick it up and get on to it for you. No wonder we have problems with our children in this country when we try to stop parents being parents, especially good ones, like you obviously are, trying to do what is right for your daughter caught up in a tragic situation….You have done very well and I think you need to be commended for your actions”.
Marc Alexander, former Member of the NZ Parliament: “I have read your account and find myself incensed that the events you describe (with the complicity of the police and CYFs) could happen in this country!”
Professor Donald Anderson, Co-chair of the Ethics Committee of the American Counselling Association, wrote: “I (have)…deep concern”
Philip Armstrong, Australian Counselling Association: “I have read the information you have sent and have also shared this with our chairperson of the ACA complaints board. We both feel that the complaints system you have experienced has not been transparent nor equitable”
Dr Hillary Armstrong, Senior Lecturer, Critical Psychology, University of Western Sydney: “I am sorry you and your family have been through such a rough time. As a parent I cannot imagine how I would feel in the circumstances you describe”.
Roy Bowden, Senior Tutor, Counselling Programmes, Wellington Institute of Technology: “I am saddened and disturbed by the traumatic events that have ensued for you, your family and especially your daughter”.
Professor Susan Bradley, Dept of Psychiatry, University of Toronto: “This sounds quite bizarre and clearly not helpful to you and your daughter. I am not sure where you go short of your politician or lawyer. The other thing might be to go to the press. Good luck with your effort to get some accountability”.
Dr William Bukowski, Chair, Dept of Psychology, Concordia University: “My advice: Hire a lawyer”.
Dr Penny Brabin, National Chairperson, Div of Independently Practicing Psychologists, Australian Psychological Society: “…your daughter seems to have been seduced by this man/men who may have influenced her reaction to the counsellor and possible projection of the blame onto you the parents”.
Gerry Brawn-Douglas, Psychologist, Convener of the Ethics Committee for the NZ Christian Counsellors Association: “Clearly you and your family have been and continue to go through a most difficult time. I think the best course of action for you at this stage is to consult a lawyer”.
Dr Freda Briggs, Emeritus Professor, Child Development, University of South Australia: “Sadly I have long had the impression that your CYPFS has the worst reputation of any child protection service in the English speaking world….As a last resort, go to the media…chose whichever is the least sensational and will give you the necessary amount of time”.
Dr Joe Carver, Clinical Psychologist, Portsmouth, Ohio, a world-renown expert on Stockholm syndrome: “Stockholm Syndrome (SS) can exist at various levels of severity. Some are primarily relationship SS as we find in abusive or controlling romantic/marital/sexual relationships. Some may be related to a religious component as we find in religious cults. Others may be related to the immaturity or age of the victim as when teenagers have relationships with adults. Still other forms of SS involve a type of “family” of support where a non-family group of supporters encourage the victim to participate in their detachment and victim-like behaviour”.
“In your situation, you have almost all the high-risk components with the exception of life-threatening (hostage, prisoner, death threats, etc.). The support of the pastor is especially distressing as that family is using their position as supposedly moral, honest people to provide credibility and approval to your daughter’s situation. It’s like a physician advertising for a questionable product. When a physician supports something it implies a medical acceptance.”
“From a mental health standpoint, your daughter would be overwhelmed by these events and the complexity of the legal and social situation. She is seeking support of adults in her environment and clearly, she has adult supporters who are encouraging her and providing even financial and housing support”.
Mark Cescato, School of Psychology, University of South Australia writes: “I am very sorry to hear of your tragic situation.…my deepest sympathies for you in this plight”.
Kathy Clist (NZAC member) wrote: “This must be an absolutely devastating situation for you and your family – I was so sorry to read what has happened.”
Lyn Coker, NZAC member and ACC-recognised sexual abuse counsellor, wrote: “I was very disturbed to read of the events you outlined….and I am shocked that any counsellor would express the views your daughter’s counsellor did regarding your daughter’s sexual abuse…this counsellor has in my opinion, committed a serious breach of trust and crossed professional boundaries…The fact that the counsellor reacted so strongly to you without knowing you appears to be a case of transference…With regard to your daughter – if the counsellor formed an alliance with her – against you and your wife, your daughter is likely to be very confused. And once a teenager has made a stand, it is often hard for them to back down or see things from another perspective. She would benefit from proper professional help…I wish you all the best and hope you can find some resolution to this distressing and multi-facetted abuse situation.”
Dr. Cocking, Registrar of the International Society of Professional Counsellors (ISPC) in the UK: “The (counselling) code of ethics (states) that ‘the counsellor will not do anything that will harm the client’. In your case the client has been harmed emotionally as have your family. I am sorry to read that you have been treated with what appears to be total disregard by the counsellors involved”.
“I am amazed that the counsellors would decide that it is love/romance. Counsellors are not there to make judgements. Saying that the crimes were insignificant is beyond me. Under ISPC rules, the type of counselling discussed (here) would be unethical”.
“This (the counsellors position of not accepting any input from the parents) does not allow for individuality. Seeing it all before would suggest to me that counsellors know it all and everyone is the same. On the contrary everyone is different and each person feels differently about his or her own experience. The attitude you describe (of the counsellor refusing any input from you as parent) however would to me seem unnecessary, especially as you have been so badly emotionally hurt by your daughter’s experience”.
“For the counsellors to say that your daughter is at the greatest risk in the home environment sounds unethical. The counsellor might be basing this on statistics that suggest that family members, more often than not perpetrate the abuse on children. However, in your case your daughter is the victim of a paedophile ring and the police are involved and they have been found guilty. It sounds that the counsellor might be suggesting something without evidence. I wonder if you can take legal action over this”.
“Again, I have to conclude that the views expressed by the counsellors that you describe would to me at least seem unethical”.
Regarding the secrecy surrounding the identity of the counselling supervisor, Dr Cocking wrote: “I can’t understand why the name of the counsellor your wife spoke to is being kept from you. I must say this sounds suspicious”.
Dr Cocking concluded: “What you describe here is tantamount to emotional abuse. This added to the damage caused by the paedophile leaves a great deal of pain for your family to deal with… If what you described happened in the UK then I believe legal action would be taken against the counsellors and the professional body they belonged to… I feel for you all that you have had to undergo such a terrible experience. I thank you for bringing this to my attention as it demonstrates what can happen in the counselling field”.
Ann Coffey, MP in the House of Commons, Westminster: “I am sorry to hear about your awful experience in New Zealand”.
Dr Philip Culbertson, NZ Association of Psychotherapists, wrote: “…some extremely serious issues…please accept my condolences for what has been an extraordinary amount of suffering for you and your family”.
David Cunliffe, Member of the NZ Parliament: “So very sorry to hear about your family’s terrible ordeal. I can imagine little worse. You have my deep sympathy and so to you to your daughter. It seems incredible that the issue was not dealt with prima facile on the basis that your daughter was 14 when the issue began” (NB: It was David Cunnliffe’s Minister of Social Development, Ruth Dyson, who endorsed the actions of CYF regarding this case at the time).
Dr Chris Davis, Ethics Chairperson, Psychology Dept, Carlton University, Ottawa, wrote: “I am sorry that you and your family have gone through this horrible experience. You have my sympathy”.
Leigh Davison, National Co-ordinator, Real Fathers for Justice, UK: “Your email did a pretty good job of shocking someone who is usually unshockable. I thought I’d heard it all before!…The way you and your family have been treated is shocking, and the so-called experts should be removed from positions and a public inquiry instigated”.
Dr Wendy Drewery, Assistant Dean, Human Development and Counselling, University of Waikato, wrote: “This is a terrible story….my heart goes out to your daughter, you and all your family. I very much respect that you are bringing this issue to the attention of the profession, and I am very concerned that you have not had a substantive response from the professional association…I must say I recall (no other case) that falls quite into the category of your difficulties”.
Steven Dromgool, NZAC member, wrote: “I unsurprisingly think that you experienced abusive and coercive counselling and an enormously abusive response by the NZAC”.
Professor Richard Ekins, Faculty of Law, University of Auckland: “The counsellor’s attitude toward serious sexual crime is of course abhorrent”.
Yvonne Elliot, NZAC member and ACC-recognised sexual abuse counsellor: “I do hope that NZAC is able to get it’s act together and be accountable and sort this situation out….How distressing, frustrating and just downright (?) words actually fail me, and I ought not to write the first word that comes to mind! Please do keep me informed of the developments, as it is very important for everyone, you firstly and your family, then practising counsellors and the profession in general that this matter is brought to a conclusion and that justice prevails. You have my support.”
Sonya Edmonds-Ihimaera, NZAC member and ACC-recognised sexual abuse counsellor, wrote: “The path your daughter is now on is fairly typical of a young victim/survivor who is confused, stressed, depressed and wants to run away from her life. One of the sad factors about child/adolescent abuse is that not only are they sexualised before they are ready, but they find themselves now in a very adult world, which means they no longer view themselves as young women/men who need to go to school, respect parents, care for those who care for them. Instead, their role and boundaries have become terribly blurred and they often feel they are wanting now to get into an independant life as they adult that they now feel they are. She has been robbed, you have all been robbed. You have a right to be angry and upset.”
Sonya Edmonds-Ihimaera continues: “Good parents sometimes interfere in their children’s/teens life…bad parents do nothing…that’s another form of abuse called neglect. I’m so sorry for your demise. The ripple effect of what has happened to your daughter and yourselves is huge and I can imagine that powerless that you all feel because of this. The toxic nature of abuse is so pervasive, it has the potential to take over our lives. Because of the high level of arousal involved in the type of abuse that your daughter has had to suffer, the adrenalin level and tendency to lean toward the need to feed that, can cause drama after drama for her and for her family. It seems that NZAC and CYF have let you down badly. Most of the time, these two organisations do a fairly good job in a field that is really a mine field. They are not immune to getting it wrong. It’s a fairly well recognised fact that aside from the initial abusive assault on victims, they are also then forced to step into what can be an equally powerless and sometimes dysfunctional system. Even the court system can be that as well. The upside is, sometimes it works and there are not a lot of alternatives anyway. The downside is, the impact when it goes wrong is just bloody awful.”
Dr Jacqui Farrants, Dept of Psychology, City University, London, wrote: “I am sorry that you and your family have been experiencing such a hugely difficult time recently. It is important that you feel your complaint is taken seriously and dealt with appropriately by the relevant bodies. I appreciate that this is an extremely distressing time for you”.
Babette Francis, Endeavour Forum, Australia: “I was deeply grieved to read your tragic story. Sadly this kind of alienation of children from loving parents also occurs in countries such as Australia and Sweden”.
Dr Deborah Fraser, Senior Lecturer, Human Development and Counselling, Waikato University wrote: “I was most disturbed to read your account, and certainly feel for you and your family”.
Robert Fuller, author of best selling book: Somebodies and Nobodies – Overcoming the Abuse of Rank: “Surely there are many ways in which you have been treated as you pursue justice that are rankist in nature…I hope that by characterizing that bureaucracy’s closing ranks–to protect the incompetence of one of its own–as rankism, you can get the attention of people who have authority over it.”
Brian Gerner, Program Director, Dept of Psychology, University of South Australia, wrote: “This situation is very, very distressing. I would consult a lawyer”
Gill Goodison (ACC-recognised sexual abuse counsellor and NZAC member) wrote to us: “The long-reaching effects of predatory sex offenders, the resulting “skewing” of your daughter’s view of life, and the entanglement resulting with the counsellor have added to your nightmare…Your daughter is still in the chaotic phase of her trauma…Her values will be distorted, and so will her view of everything. You will be in a difficult place of receiving her transference about her situation: and she will be undergoing shame, a state which has people turn away from their loved ones.”
Grainne Griffin, Head of Professional Conduct, British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy: “The series of events and experiences, as described by you, are disturbing indeed and I sincerely hope that justice prevails….If your experience (with the NZAC complaint process) is accurately described, I would have concerns on a number of issues regarding the management of your complaint.”
Keith Gregory, in a published letter in Investigate magazine: “…the 14-year old undergoing statutory rape. A really tragic tale but, unfortunately, just a symptom of a malaise affecting the whole of our society from the very top down”.
“Why do we have to put up with people who know nothing about the real situation steamrolling citizens around to their method, merely ‘because we can’”.
“The complete lack of accountability in the people concerned. There appears to be no-one to bring these people to task and make them responsible for the upset they have caused.”
Christine Hatcher, (ACC-recognised sexual abuse counsellor and NZAC member) wrote to us: “The sexual abuse you describe your daughter survived is indeed extremely serious and you are right in recognising that the behaviour she is displaying could possibly be a direct result of those incidents.”
JoAnn Harjes, Director, Parental Alienation Awareness Organization, USA: “It sounds like you have been in a very difficult and tragic situation. There is alienation here though the apparent source is most unusual. The heartbreak is the same and our hearts go out to you”.
Professor Craig Hart, Brigham Young University, USA: “Thank you for sharing your tragic experience with me. This is indeed disturbing”.
Joy Hayward, Dept of Counselling, Dunedin College of Education, wrote: “I’m sorry to hear about the appalling trauma your family have suffered. It is very difficult to understand N.Z.A.C.’s response to you. I know little about NZAC’s complaints procedure and it sounds incomprehensible that your complaints could be dismissed in this way. It sounds crucial that NZAC find a way to address this with you”.
Professor Bryan Hiebert, Applied Psychology, University of Calgary, wrote: “The situation you describe sounds like a travesty….it sounds like you have a strong case for pursuing litigation”.
Tony Hore, in a published letter in Investigate magazine: “For my money CYF have moved from caregiver and protector to amoral juggernaut”.
Professor Adam Horvath, Dept of Counselling Psychology, Simon Fraser University, wrote: “Your concerns certainly sound very serious indeed”.
Dr Andy Horne, University of Georgia, Greece, Editor of the International Journal for the Advancement of Counselling, wrote: “The situation that occurred with your daughter sounds like a nightmare no family should ever experience…(Regarding the NZAC) it does not seem consistent with a professional organisation. I would encourage you to consult an attorney”.
Reverend Rose Hudson-Wilkin, Chaplain to the Queen in London, and Chaplain to the House of Commons, Westminster, wrote to us: “What happened to your family is a real tragedy that should never have happened. Children should be told that their family loves them and is doing their best to support them so they should stay within the boundaries being given by them (this is the type of help Social Services should be giving to families). I am simply appalled by your family’s experiences. As parents it is our right and responsibility to protect our children. The State should not have been given permission to gag your family”.
Marjorie Hunt, (NZCCA member): “It is possible that your daughter believed she freely made the decision to have a sexual relationship. She currently sees herself as an adult who can make these choices. Unfortunately she does not see the power, age, and experience difference between herself and the man/men and does not see that she has been used/abused and she will probably not see this for some time.”
Jenny, a long-term family friend, in a published letter in Investigate magazine: “My husband and I are close friends of (the mother, Margaret) and (father, Dave). We have known them for 28 years. Their struggle to save (their daughter) from the effects of a traumatic and psychologically damaging experience, and reconcile with her, are a reflection of their strong sense of family and moral values”.
“I admire (this mother and father) for their tenacity in fighting a system where perfect strangers are allowed to rip a family apart, slander their characters and cause untold psychological damage to the fragile mind of their teenage daughter”.
“The disgust that I feel for the misguided Rosa counsellors and a justice system that gives minors more rights than parents, in this case, truly caring parents, is nothing compared to what I feel about the actions of a liberal Christian church and its ‘pastor’, whose actions cruelly cut (their daughter) off from her parents – (mother and father) – who are the only people who truly care about her and love her. An institution that aids in the decimation of family relationships is an abomination and insult to the fundamental Christian values of love, forgiveness and reconciliation”.
“As a parent and a teacher, I am alarmed that a state school could assist and sanction a minor to ‘divorce’ herself from her family – the essence of her identity. This in itself reflects how sick and heartless the cornerstones of society have become. That the amoral and immoral amongst us, however disguised (educators and spiritual leaders), are empowered and in fact aided and abetted by the law to destroy families, is frightening!”
“(This mother and father) have now been silenced by the law. They have lost their right to be guardians of their daughter, without just cause or reason, and have been gagged from speaking out against the people who are systematically destroying their family and the psychological well-being of their child. This is madness and a reflection of a ‘sick’ society”.
“The fact that paedophiles (guilty beyond doubt in my view) are let loose and not held accountable for their criminal acts and that perfectly good and caring parents are treated like criminals is beyond belief. How can one feel anything but contempt for such a system”.
“(To the father): Your tenacity and instinct to reclaim and protect your daughter in the face of great loss is admirable.
(To the mother): Your heartache and disbelief at the loss of your only daughter, one who you so desperately wanted to bring into the world, is tragic and I empathise and connect with your pain as would most parents. My deepest wish is that one day (your daughter) will understand just how much you care.
(To the daughter): Your parents love you more than you can imagine and are the best friends you could ever wish to have. Your other friends will come and go, but nobody will care more about you than (your mother and father). Their unconditional love will be your healing. Don’t wait too long to embrace it”.
Dr Patrice Keats, Simon Fraser University, wrote: “I…want to acknowledge the distress that you have suffered not only from the crime against your daughter, but also the experience that you have had in a counselling setting which you hoped would bring you relief rather than more stress”
Roger Kerr, Executive Director of the NZ Business Roundtable: “…your story beggars belief…my deepest sympathy”.
Dr Jeffrey Kottler, International counselling expert and author of 45 books on counselling and psychology, wrote: “you, your daughter, and family have been through a horrible ordeal…..I can certainly appreciate you feeling frustrated and angry by the way things have been handled, both by the counsellor and the N.Z. professional organization afterwards. Seek legal counsel and begin some sort of legal action to seek justice….you could take this to the media.”
Bishop Robin Leamy, Assistant Bishop of Auckland, wrote: “The continuing inappropriate actions of the Rosa counsellors, and the CYF, and the NZAC, not to mention the Health and Disabilities Commissioner DO DEMAND ANSWERS….I commend you for your courage and perseverance. It is very difficult and time-consuming, but you are performing a much-needed service for us all”.
Diane Levy, Family Counsellor, motivational speaker and Author of parenting books, wrote: “I am appalled at the dreadful saga you have and continue to endure. I am particularly appalled to hear how you were treated by NZAC.”
Sandra Libeau, in a published letter in Investigate magazine: “What appears to (your daughter) to be daring and romantic now won’t appear that way in a few years time. And how will she feel when she realises she was just another notch along with many others before and later? These men are predators who deserve jail”.
Jenny Macintyre, NZAC member, ACC-recognised sexual abuse counsellor and Investigative TV journalist: “You have certainly been through an horrific journey. I am sorry to hear that you have experienced such injustice and blocked doors from NZAC. It will be a defensive reaction on their part. It is a most unusual reaction because as a member I have experienced them as diligent and ethical. However your experience has not been that…I would be interested to make a “60 Minutes” documentary with you.”
Dr Gerald Maclaurin (New Zealand Association of Psychotherapists member) wrote to us: “Clearly it is illegal for an adult man to have had sex with your daughter, and it is hard to believe that such an act is anything other than abusive, certainly in any cases I have come across, so I cannot understand the reasons for the counsellor apparently minimizing the seriousness of the situation.”
Ted Mason, Consulting Psychologist: “I am deeply sorry that things have not progressed more for you, and that there is still no real resolution. I agree that the events you describe seem unreal and horrendous.”
Ross Meurant, ex-senior NZ policeman and ex-NZ Cabinet Minister: “This truly is a disturbing tale of a family which has had its share of grief. That the State has contributed to the extent of this grief is axiomatic”.
Professor Gerald Monk, Dept of Counselling and School of Psychology, University of San Diego: “I would make an appointment with a lawyer”.
Elaine Monks (ACC-recognised sexual abuse counsellor and NZAC member) wrote: “Certainly what has happened is a crime and has issues of power being used over your daughter by men much older and more experienced than herself…It is not uncommon for the anger towards abusers to be misplaced onto others. Often the abuse is normalised by the survivor and it is only in later years that they realise that it was not OK to be used in that way and to have their youth taken away. It can also effect the same age adolescent relationships that would have been forming had the older men not intervened. The impact of the abuse can be hidden at the time and not surface until around their 30′s or later having created damaged lives in the meantime. I’m sure you have read about the results of abuse and it’s effects as you seem to be aware of the need to get help for her urgently. The sooner your daughter’s abuse is worked with in an effective way the better the outcome will be for her”.
“Those who have been sexually abused and have no-one to turn seem to have greater difficulty in future life than those who have had family support around the abuse as those without support hold the secret and shame inside themselves. It is different for your daughter. She has a loving family and although she is not currently acknowledging her abuse, when it comes time to do so she will know that you took a stand for her and cared about her. A lot of survivors have not had this. She is very fortunate.” Elaine Monks wrote this before our daughter left home and deserted her loving family.
Arna Mountain, in a published letter in Investigate magazine: “When (the mother and father) wanted help for their situation with (their daughter) it backfired on them and they became victims”
“This whole thing is ludicrous. It seems everyone has rights except those who want to do what is right. Are there such things as parent’s rights? Surely it is acceptable to want to train your fourteen-year old daughter in the values you consider virtuous. That is considered good parenting. A teenager’s opinions are vulnerable and it is highly important that the parents have input”.
“How can a child of (the daughter’s) age make an informed decision on whether to divorce her parents? In her fragile state her counsellors, and church leaders would heavily influence her. They would be making the decision, not (the child). How can anyone in their right mind counsel (this child) to reject her family, the most basic cornerstone of relationships?”
“The fact that a school and church leaders appear to be not prepared to listen to both sides of the story and work constructively towards reconciliation means they actually fostered the breakdown in this family. Shame on you who bear Christ’s name. Mark 9:42: ‘If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a large millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea.’”
Dr Stephen Munt, British Psychological Society, wrote: “I am very sorry that your family has suffered such distress”.
Dr. Bob Neimeyer, Professor of Psychology, University of Memphis, wrote: “The anguish your family has faced leaves me concerned. (you need to) redress the wrongs you have suffered. I clearly hear your anger about this sad development for your family, and your obvious commitment to do everything in your power to seek a just resolution of a painful situation”.
Jeanette Newport, NZAC member, wrote: “As a Life Member of the NZAC I am horrified that you have been treated in this way”
Dr Michael Reid, Maxim Institute, wrote: “I am appalled at the way many State authorities have dealt with your situation. I have on file many similar stories, although yours is truly horrific”.
Dr Jan Resnick, practicing Psychologist, Perth: “I read your account with horror….It is the most horrible story. You, your wife and family must have suffered terribly. I can only say that I really feel for what you have gone through and I do hope that you find some justice in the end”.
Dr Suzanna Roffey, Senior Lecturer in Educational Psychology, University of Western Sydney: “Blaming and labelling is not helpful to anyone and should not be part of any professional counselling repertoire”.
Professor Ulrich Schnyder, President of the International Federation of Psychotherapy in Switzerland, wrote: “I would strongly suggest to seek legal advice. You have already suffered terribly over the last year, and I do think you should do everything to prevent your family from further injuries”.
John Saks, Founder and Chairman of the For the Sake of our Children Foundation in NZ, wrote: “(In your case, you) have state sponsored alienation of a family……Your daughter is considerably more fortunate than most in her circumstance as evidenced by the tremendous effort you have put into ‘righting the wrong’. Your efforts should be applauded, and I am very thankful that at least one daughter in our nation has parents hugely committed to her….It is my hope that your suffering/agony has not been in vain – and that many other sons and daughters of our nation and other nations may be better off because you ‘stood tall’ for them also”.
Jeanette Scott, NZ Psychological Society wrote: “I would also question why CYF recommended this particular counsellor….you should not have experienced this approach and treatment”.
Janne Sergison (NZAC member) wrote: “I’m sorry you had such a bad counselling experience with your daughter. Your counsellor in my opinion did not behave very professionally. Your daughter may have been seeing the whole situation as one of love and romance BUT the fact remains she is a 14 year old kid. There were crimes committed. In fact consensual sex under 16 is statuatory rape. This is because a child under 16 is regarded as being developmentally not ready to give INFORMED consent as they do not understand all the dynamics. Also the effects are just as bad as any other abuse as you are probably finding out.”
Ann Speirs, NZAP member and ACC-recognised sexual abuse counsellor, wrote: “If your perception of how the counsellor who met with your daughter behaved is accurate then there are serious concerns about both competency and ethics.”
Warwick Smith, a NZAC (New Zealand Association of Counsellors) member and recognised sexual abuse counsellor, wrote to us: “Sadly the impact of such trauma have a profound effect upon the victim that takes time and skilled help to overcome. I am astounded that any counsellor would have taken such a position in regard to what is a criminal act and viewing it “as love and romance”.
Judy Smyth, a NZAC member and recognised sexual abuse counsellor, wrote: “I am sorry you had such a negative experience in counselling as I know you will be beside yourself with worry and have every right to be extremely worried for your daughters future. She is under 16 and very young and the crimes are not insignificant.”
Judge Peter Spiller, Professor in the faculty of Law at Waikato University: “….as a fellow human being, I grieve with you and your family in your distress”. Judge Spiller was not the judge in any of our gagging court cases.
Rhyll Stafford, NZAC member and ACC-recognised sexual abuse counsellor, wrote: “Its clear your daughter is a minor and that a counsellors response that this is love and romance isnt an accurate or professional intervention…Good on you for acting through the legal system as you have. You’ve done a wonderful job to keep your daughter at home during all this. As a parent I appreciate your distress and know that they do eventually thank you for holding firm out of love for them in tough times.”
Bede Stevens, NZAC member, commented on the short time taken by the counsellor to make her assessment of our daughter: “It is my opinion from the information … that the counsellor has stepped beyond boundaries I would place on the therapeutic setting. Half an hour to make a diagnosis on a complex situation seems a little precipitate or hasty.”
Peter Tatchell, Human Rights Activist, UK: “It sounds like you went through a torrid, horrible and truly bizarre experience…..of course a family has the right to protect their children. Goes without saying”.
Sheila Taylor, Director of the National Working Group for Sexually Exploited Children and Young People, UK: “The narrative of your experiences is horrific, it mirrors so many of the experiences of young people in this country. You have certainly been very vigilant in pursuing the cause for your daughter”.
Steve Taylor, qualified Auckland counsellor: (This story) “almost beggars my professional and personal belief”.
“Church leadership from the local church and staff from the local high school collaborated with this manifest abuse of a minor by shielding both (the child) from appropriate care, and the perpetrators from the natural consequences of their criminal actions. This was achieved by staff from both organisations stepping way beyond their pastoral boundaries of competence, and cheerfully fostering a family split”.
“In my professional opinion, such abuse has most certainly occurred in this case, perpetrated by a school and a church, which are two organisations that most reasonable people would think were safe for minors. Not so”.
“The NZAC…when confronted with overwhelming evidence to the contrary, it colluded with a member’s denial of abusive practice by default, and then vilified the parents who made the original complaint! How in the world can the New Zealand public now place their trust in ANY counsellor who displays the letters NZAC after their name?”
David Thomson, NZAC member and ACC-recognised sexual abuse counsellor, wrote: “I am apalled at the way you have been treated by NZAC….it looks as if their main role is to defend their member no matter what is said. I am interested in your situtation and would like to see justice and sanity prevail. At present it does not look like that.”
Dr Emmanuel Tlou, President of the Psychological Society of South Africa, and practicing Clinical Psychologist: “My hair stood on end when I read what your daughter went through at such an innocent age. As if that was not enough, my heart skipped a few beats after reading about the counsellor’s conduct. Her conduct is unheard of. Unprofessional is not enough to describe her behaviour”.
“The counsellor and her supervisor….must be criminally charged as accessories to paedophilia….They must also be exposed in the media”.
Cardinal Tom Williams, Head of the 500,000 member Catholic Church of NZ (shortly before leaving for Rome to elect the Pope): “I am profoundly grieved that your daughter, you and (your wife) have undergone such traumatic experience, first of all at the hands of the men awaiting trial, and then at the hands of people whose responsibility it was to care for the family”.
Ondra Williams (NZAP member) wrote: “As the law stands, it is clearly illegal for an adult to have sexual relationships with a minor, under 16. Any counsellor must respect the law and take very seriously any breach. It is bunkum to suggest such a sexual relationship would not have an effect on her, though it is more than likely that your daughter will not yet be aware of that herself and will deny it strenuously…..You could check this with NZAC, but I believe it is not legal to refuse to include you in this matter, as the parents of a minor.”
Hilary Willmer, Chairperson of CROP (the Coalition for the Removal of Pimping), UK: “Your horrific story….it is extreme even by CROP standards”
“It is common for the parents of the children to be blamed….an interpretation that completely fails to understand the experience and manipulative power of the perpetrators who know exactly what they are doing”.
“I think that your story is among the very worst that I have heard”.
Dr George Wills, Dept of Counselling and Psychological Health, La Trobe University, Victoria wrote to us that he believes our daughter is a victim of the Stockholm syndrome: “There is a syndrome called the Stockholm Syndrome in which victims identify with their persecutors and take their side against legitimate authority – Patty Hearst’s response to being taken by the Symbionese Liberation Army in San Francisco in the ‘70s was a case in point. I suspect that what happens is that the victim is vulnerable and feels helpless and adopts a vicarious feeling of belonging and strength from association with the persecutors…This aspect of your circumstances would be the most galling of all for me to manage, were I you. What I don’t understand so well is the apparent failure on the part of the counsellors you mention, to try to understand your position better…In the field of counselling, it is common for such a phenomenon to surface and counsellors are trained to look out for it”.
“There is no doubt in my mind that the men’s actions are criminal and I applaud your efforts to bring them to justice….The Stockholm Syndrome…in which victims identify with their perpetrators…would be one explanation I would offer (regarding the position of your daughter)….What I don’t understand is the apparent failure on the part of the counsellors to try to understand your position better….The phenomenon is called ‘splitting’…it seems that your daughter has been prone to think in terms of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ and to pass these judgements onto the counsellors…I would have thought that it was the job of the counsellors to avoid falling into this trap…I would have to agree that their behaviour is unethical on several grounds”.
Dr Wills continued: “Ethical practice requires that we don’t exploit our clients in any way”.
“There seems to have been a tendency to rush to blame and to leave you in a position where you have felt not understood, judged and not respected. I think that this is a very regrettable situation for you to be in”.
Dr Wills concluded: “I feel very sorry that you are having to respond to such a terrible set of events”.
Ian Wishart, author, in a passage from his book Eve’s Bite in the chapter entitled “The War on Parents”: “…a New Zealand girl, statutorily raped by older men at age 14 in a public park, was subsequently removed from the care of her parents by the state and encouraged to begin legal proceedings to ‘divorce’ her conservative parents because they had dared to lay a police complaint against the men responsible for sex with a child. The girl’s state school cited ‘privacy’ issues in refusing to even divulge so much as a school report to her parents. The child was placed on an ‘independent youth’ taxpayer-funded benefit and given government legal aid for her divorce hearings”.
Andy Wotton, Fathers of New Zealand: “Your story is probably the worst that I have come across”.
The School of Psychology at Griffith University asked us if they could use our ordeal as their case study in their post graduate Ethics and Professional Practice class run by Dr Shirley Morrissey. They regard our ordeal as the most extreme example of unethical counselling.
Anonymous letter published in Investigate magazine: “No government department can become parents no matter how misguided or misdirected they may be. The undermining of parents by this government is absolutely atrocious – particularly by the heads of departments in all sorts of areas. The whole system seems geared towards this aim – state control of our children. New Zealanders need to wake up! The CYF service has a lot to answer for, but in reality is only reflecting the attitude from government and the social engineering agenda they are following”.
Anonymous letter published in Investigate magazine: “It is very clear that the rights of children over-ride the rights of parents and the Privacy Act complicates matters even further”.
“(This child) is young and immature and has been caught up in something that is beyond her ability to make wise and sensible decisions. And yes, I believe that (the child’s) decision, with the encouragement and assistance of those who should know better, to divorce her parents, is the result of ongoing manifestations of the original trauma, compounded by transference and bad counselling”.
“We are astounded that the NZAC has not taken action against the Rosa counsellor involved in this case”.
“Thank you (father and mother) for having the courage and determination to seek justice and go public with your story. You have our support and admiration. We understand your heartbreak and frustration and hope that in time there will be restoration and reconciliation with your daughter”.
Letter signed by 35 mothers, published in Investigate magazine: “This story brings fear and anger to everyone who has children. Any parent could potentially become inflicted with a tragedy of a similar scale”.
“As mothers would we get the same treatment from public officials that the parents in this story received? Would we be told that the problem is the family, and not a 14 year old engaging in group sex activities with adults? Would we be labelled as oppressive and overbearing if we wanted to save our children from the clutches of people obviously trying to exploit them?”
From a family member of “Jade” the daughter:
I am Jade’s Aunt, her mother’s sister. I live in South Africa.
In March 1994 my sister and brother-in-law left our country because of the violence and crime here. They wanted a better life for their children in a “so-called first world country”. They had a very comfortable life here as they were earning good money at the time that they left but they were willing to forfeit all that for the security and love of their children. They are both well educated and are loving parents who were well respected in their community back here in SA. Little did we know that they were on a journey to hell when we waved them all goodbye as they left the shores of this country.
We were all trully shocked to learn what had happened to Jade at the tender age of 14 years. She had returned on a visit to SA with her mum and brothers some 18months before the “under age sex scandal broke”. She was so sweet and innocent, a normal young girl.
What has horrified us and disgusted us the most, has been how my sister and brother-in-law have been treated in New Zealand. Not only did they have to deal with the psychological shock of “the under age sex scandal” and a rebellious young teenager but there was absolutely NO SUPPORT FOR PARENTS in NZ!!! They have been dragged through the courts, treated like criminals, lost all their money, all their dignity…. all to prove that they actually love their daughter!!! THIS IS INSANE AND NZ NEANDERTHAL!!!
South Africa still has alot of crime and maybe is a third world/semi-first world country but at least family rights are still respected and protected. What happened to my sister and brother-in-law in NZ would definitely not have happened here.I think that ALL those responsible for this wonderful family’s tortured demise should be held accountable and face criminal charges. My sister’s family has been damaged irrepairably and those who caused the damage have just walked away like it never happened.
We too have been hurt. We have lost a beautiful niece (she does not want to have anything to do with her parents families). We still love her and do not blame her in anyway for what went wrong in her tender youth. We pray daily that she will be reconciled to her loving parents and ultimately to us, her extended family.
NZAC Member Raewyn Woodhouse:
I saw the close up program and was also disturbed to hear the response of the counsellor concerned. As we know, a young girl of 14 is not of an age to consent to a relationship with an adult male, and the power differential is one that a 14 year old would not be aware of. To suggest that she had found love is bizarre, and I would question the credentials of that counsellor………………….. to condone a relationship like that is unprofessional and shows a distinct lack of understanding of the power and control issues of a paedophile (which is what the man involved is).
NZAC Member Philip McConkey:
I would encourage the family concerned to make a formal complaint to the N.Z. Association of Counsellors and / or the N.Z. Police.
St John Member Response #1: I think the NZ public will be against this type of person working around young people let alone receiving a public award. I feel we should ask ourselves, would Her Majesty the Queen sign an order with the knowledge of these people’s actions? I would not want them near my children. With such a public outcry and press exposure, which is rightly founded, St John could also see a reduction in its donations if the public thought that some of the funding was to support these people.
St John Member Response # 2: The New Zealand public would not find induction of these two men acceptable.
St John Member Response # 3:
In my opinion, child sex offenders should be incarcerated in an institution for life.
PH.D Psychologist Response:
Hi, Steve. I can’t think of anything coherent to say, I’m so appalled by the whole thing. The family is very fortunate to have your support. If there’s anything useful I can do, let me know.
St John Member Response # 4:
In my mind there is no place in St John for anyone, who is convicted (or seriously suspected) of any child sex offences whatsoever.
Without knowing the full details I would suggest they are suspended pending a full investigation, and if found guilty be removed from St John ASAP.
No one who is likely to be improper with kids should be in uniform at all, for any reason.
Westlake Girls High School Principal Roz Mexted response to the parents 20/8/12:
Dear Mr Jackson
I believe that you may be using a pseudonym?
I refer to a recent email, received by some WGHS staff and the Board Chair, Alan Curtis.
The latest is the second email received in two months, from someone using a pseudonym.
As the new Principal here, I take the matter of physical and emotional Health and Safety of all staff and students very seriously.
I have referred your correspondence to the NZ Police. We are also awaiting legal advice as we do not appreciate these emails being sent to staff and neither do they.
Westlake Girls High School
Section 4 has been added to the families Information Document, further detailing the involvement of Madeleine & David Hayden:
Teachers Council refuse permission for the parents to make a complaint against a NZ School:
While it is good enough fore the Police & CYF to accept anonymous complaints, apparently the Teachers Council won’t accept such a complaint, even when the parents are under a Court Order. When Andrew Greig, Manager, Teacher Practice was asked to read the summary of the case, reportedly replied to the parents “No, I won’t be doing that – it is too long”.
Andrew Greig, Manager, Teacher Practice, New Zealand Teachers Council
Email sent from Andrew Greig to the parents 27/8/12:
“An option available to you is to make a request to the Court seeking a variation to any suppression order in order to enable you to make a complaint to the New Zealand Teachers Council.
There are several reasons why we do not accept anonymous complaints. One of the main reasons is that the person being complained against needs to know who is making the complaint so that he or she is able to fully respond. As such, any complaint needs to be specific and will need to detail any people, alleged victims, and schools involved. It is likely that any suppression order in place will not allow this information to be detailed in your complaint. The Complaints Assessment Committee investigates complaints and it carries out due process and ensures that the person being complained against is able to respond. This is the main reason why we do not accept anonymous complaints.
You may like to seek independent legal advice as to whether and how you are able to make a complaint to the New Zealand Teachers Council, and whether you are able to seek a variation of the suppression orders. We do not know the nature of your circumstances and therefore we are not able to properly advise you on the best way for you to make a complaint.
Please feel free if you would like to call me to discuss this further”.
Andrew Greig| Manager Teacher Practice | New Zealand Teachers Council | Level 12, 80 Boulcott Street, Wellington 6011 | TEL: 04 470 9073 | FAX: 04 470 9076 | WEB: www.teacherscouncil.govt.nz
Latest email update from the family:
Subject: St John NZ paedophile gang members to receive Queen’s awards from senior St John manager
In the latest development, we have now been informed that the Queen’s awards for members of the St John NZ paedophile gang are to be presented by a senior St John Manager and not by the Governor General as originally stated in the press. Karl Berghan and Sam Brens are to receive Queen’s awards at an undisclosed venue some time during November.
We understand that Her Majesty the Queen sanctions these awards based on the recommendation of the Governor General. In the US and the UK those who cover up paedophile activities and permit known paedophile’s to continue employment where they have access to vulnerable children, are facing serious legal challenges.
We are disappointed that St John NZ senior executives Peter Bradley and Tom Dodd seem determined to promote and award known serial paedophiles within St John and enable them to continue to work with vulnerable New Zealand children.
Experts in the UK are likening the St John NZ paedophile gang with the Rochdale paedophile gang in the UK. This year the Rochdale gang were sentenced to 77 years in prison. In contrast, the St John NZ gang walked free because of disgracefully tolerant attitudes toward child sex crimes in NZ. There is growing unease within the House of Commons and the House of Lords with regard to these NZ atrocities.
These developments simply confirm our earlier statement that no country is as tolerant toward paedophiles as New Zealand.
- Was the Queen misled into sanctioning these awards to known serial paedophiles?
- Do you believe New Zealanders would be happy with these Queen’s awards and the continued employment of these men enabling them to work with vulnerable children?
- Isn’t it time that the New Zealand parliament plucked up the courage to ask the Governor General to rescind these Queen’s awards?
(Name withheld to protect the identity of our daughter, this email address is a pseudonym, please contact me via return email)
Update 12/11/12: A new website has been launched, detailing the process of the recent St John Investigation into Karl Burghan & Sam Brens.
If this case is not now sufficient justification for appointing an Independent CYF Complaints Authority – then there will never be any justification sufficient to do so. Prosecutions now need to occur; heads need to roll; and a Royal Commission of Enquiry would now be a thoroughly appropriate response from Govenment regarding the matters raised above.